NC Divorce Forum

Regarding Uncontested Divorce

comingclean2 — Sat Jul 04, 2009 10:25 pm

Custody issues are completely separate from the divorce process. One is not connected to the other. You file for divorce in one claim. The you file for custody/child support in a separate claim.

Contested divorce

comingclean2 — Sat Jul 04, 2009 10:21 pm

He can't contest the divorce if you've been separated for one year and one day. He can 'delay' it by asking for a continuance on his 'response' to the divorce claim....but he can't contest it and prevent it from happening. Just be patient....he can't continue the proceedings indefinitely unless he has super good reasons. Usually one 30 day continuance is grated...then you have to show up and get on with the case.

Attorney Initial Consultation & self employment

comingclean2 — Sat Jul 04, 2009 10:17 pm

An initial consultation is just that. The lawyer will look at what you bring in and answer any questions you may have. They can also advise you on your next steps. But in order to initiate any legal proceedings, you'll most likely have to pay a retainer or set fee first. That's how most law offices operate.

What right do I have to my home?

comingclean2 — Sat Jul 04, 2009 10:13 pm

If you leave the home and take up residence somewhere else...with or without a separation agreement....it is inferred that you are separating and not returning. SO you don't have rights to access to the home without the permission of your husband. He can legally change the locks and refuse you access to the home.

It doesn't make any difference if you're on the mortgage or deed or not.

Erotic Massage In NC-Anyone else dealt with it in court?

comingclean2 — Sat Jul 04, 2009 10:08 pm

Erotic messages, phone chat/sex, webcam interaction, 'happy endings'...with no physical contact is not legally considered adultry. It's like pornography really. Masterbation isn't illegal.

It MAY show inclination if these 2 ever DID get together physically. But it seems your husband has an addiction to porn.....not illegal....unless it involves minors.

Pushed and Pushed for Divorce

athos — Sat Jul 04, 2009 12:59 pm

I have one question for you l8084y. Would your ex-spouse have gotten treatment had you not left him? Would he have committed himself as hard to the treatment? Sometimes divorce and someone hitting rock bottom is precisely what it takes to get them to change their behavior. (In my father's case, it's exactly what it took for him to change his and become a much better husband and father.)

So, I guess what I'm saying is don't beat yourself up for the divorce. It may have been a necessary step for both of you to go through to improve your relationship. Take it slow as you reconnect and make sure you aren't going back to old, bad patterns. Perhaps you will remarry, or perhaps the grass isn't always greener, but I wish you luck in whatever happens.

Want a Divorce

PollyFae — Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:02 pm

Thank you in advance for your time and answering these questions.

Facts:
*We have been married for 10 years

*I have gone through all my savings and retirement supporting us-all my money is gone.

*He takes medication for severe back injuries but cannot get disability because he doesn't have enough hours to qualify

*We have argued for years about his using marijuana(although moderate use, he still uses and I hate it)

*Wednesday he was arrested for a Class C violent Felony. I do not believe he did it but believe he got involved with the wrong people and it is related to marijuana in some way. He is not a violent man.

*My house was searched, they found marijuana but are not charging him with the possession. I do not know how much he had, I do not use drugs

*They also took my computers, cameras, and various other items that belong to me. I was not arrested. I sell on-line and use these items for my business.

*I am of course completely cooperating with authorities

*We cannot afford an attorney so he will have a public defender

* I do not think he will be convicted because he is innocent. Initially I thought I was living with a stranger and perhaps the charges were true. However, after sleeping on it and realizing that he was accounted for at the time of the alleged crime, he could not have been in 2 places at once. I am trying to reach the people he was working for so they can verify the time he was at their house. I already spoke to a neighbor and she verifies that he was in fact there the morning of the alleged crime.

*The point is: he is doing something wrong, has friends I have never heard of and made someone mad enough to try to set him up. He told me on the phone they had threatened to do something if he didn't do something but this conversation was from the jail and kept short. However, I do not deserve to live like this and refuse to accept him back if he is ever released from jail. I am done!

Ok
My divorce questions:

I am the one paying for our property and totally in credit card debt now from trying to keep us afloat. My family has made numerous loans as we try to sell and move.

He is on the deed and mortgage but has not made more than $6000/year for the past several years.

I want to file for divorce and keep my property rights in full.
If he will agree, I will give him a good pick up truck, his clothing, his tools and a couple hundred dollars to get him where he wants to go.

I do know we have to be separated for a year before we can get divorced. Can all the division of property be done prior to the divorce and both of us move out of state? Is it automatic after you file for those first papers that in one year, the divorce if final?

If he is convicted and sent to prision, will I be able to sell the property without him? Will I be able to get divorced if he is in prision and keep my property?

Is drug use a valid divorce reason, according to the law?

This all happened this week and I am sick. I have never experienced anything like this. I am a law abiding who tried to live a Christian lifestlye. I just cannot control another persons actions or life choices and am ready to call this one quits.

Thanks again for your advice.

help my daughter is being abused

helicop — Fri Jul 03, 2009 4:05 pm

You have constantly asked this same question many times over. UNTIL THE COURT ORDER IS CHANGED, THE COURT ORDER IS IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT PERIOD NEITHER THE DAUGHTER NOR THE MOTHER CAN CHANGE THIS GET TO A LAWYER AND GET THIS IN COURT THERE IS NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN DO YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR VISITATION WHETHER THE DAUGHTER/MOTHER LIKES IT OR NOT YOU HAVE TO GET A LAWYER TO HELP YOU YOU HAVE NO CHOICE

What is his problem?

Unfair — Fri Jul 03, 2009 7:52 am

Con't text messages. Need help to understand these please.

July 2, 009 9:27:01pm (from ex)

Ohh lol don't worry like i said shit will end and hope M gets out real soon.

July 2, 2009 9:27:58pm (from ex)

you just don't know all i have to do is pay someone off and say when....don't fck with me i pormise you will go down exp now after I seen whos been stay

July 2, 2009 9:28:02p (from ex)

in at the house

July 2, 2009 9:28:53pm (from me)

'C' you can't do crap to 'M'! oh but I can to 'L' big time! If i was you I wouldn't even come cloes to making threats about my husbands life/career.

July 2, 2009 9:30:24pm (from ex)

oh im not making any threats like i said all i have to do is pay someone off.

July 2, 2009 9:34:31 pm (from ex)

so go ahead i dare ya

July 2, 2009 9:38:55pm (from me)

'C' you are a joke, i guess i will make sure my son is back now next weekend. you made a big mistake with those texts.

July 2, 2009 9:41:00pm (from me)

Well I have tons of proof of "l" and can do alot!

July 2, 2009 9:48:05pm (from ex)

its just to bad u have a no idea and wont til the day of what i got so go ahead i dare ya

July 2, 2009 10:05:25pm (from me)

LOL grow up.

July 2, 2009 10:08:56 pm (from me)

My attorney and the police will see this.

July 2, 2009 10:21:09pm (from ex)

thats ok

July 2, 2009 10:28:43 pm (from me)

What your gonna lie about saying this stuff, lol

July 2, 200 11:31:38 pm (from ex)

tell ya chit ..................(tryin to keep bad worlds out of here)

I'm sorry I have written what was said in the text messages, but I didn't want to seem confusing when trying to ask this question.

Does any of this sound like a threat?
He said all he has to do is pay someone off. What is that saying?
I need someone else to also tell me what that means. I think I know what that means but by other's opinions on that saying, I would like to know.

thank you, and sorry again.

House Questions

tigerlilly — Fri Jul 03, 2009 6:54 am

we are trying to determine what will be fair and equitable with regards to the marital home and are not legally seperated yet:

If we split the house 50/50 does that mean I am getting half of the equity in it of half of the home's current value? In this economy our home's value has depreciated would I essentially be receiving half of the debt? How does it work with Home equity lines of credit on the property?

Is ED required with QuitClaim?

ADM3203 — Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:47 pm

What are the risks for not filing the ED?

I am afraid that I will have to buy him out if I file the ED. He has always said that he would make it difficult for me. He did not keep a job while living in the house. He currently does not have a job and did not file his taxes because any income he receives will be garnished.

I have been working 2 jobs for many years because of his non support and can't afford to buy him out of a home that he never spent a dime to purchase or maintain.

Separation Agreement with spouse out of the country

Erin Clarey — Thu Jul 02, 2009 3:18 pm

Separation agreements are not filed with the court. They are simply a contract between you and your spouse. To be valid it must be signed and notarized by both parties. Perhaps your spouse could go to the embassy, or a resort that may have a US notary on hand. A notary must witness the signature in person.
As far as the divorce goes, your spouse will only need to be served the papers, there is nothing for her to sign or have notarized.

CS What's it for?

comingclean2 — Thu Jul 02, 2009 2:51 pm

I will be there soon too. And just remember, it doesn't matter how little you have or how hard you have to struggle just to make it, your children are going to REMEMBER what you gave to and for them. You just keep doing your very best and it will come back around to you in a good way.

Custody question

Erin Clarey — Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:40 am

Please contact our office by phone for a referral.

Pay Support for Adopted Child

Erin Clarey — Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:06 am

If a child has been adopted by his or her step parent, the natural parent is no longer responsible as his or her rights would have to be terminated prior to the step parent�s adoption, but the support obligation he owed prior to the adoption is not affected.