NC Divorce Forum - Latest posts

Left husband and he's trying to take car

@Anna_Ayscue — Wed, 20 May 2026 20:09:26 +0000

Any property that was acquired during the marriage by marital funds is subject to being divided 50/50 in equitable distribution.

If the car you drive was purchased during the marriage and was not an inheritance, then the title to it does not matter. You are still entitled to half the value of the vehicle.

This means that one of you keeps the vehicle and pays the other for half its date of separation value.

You can file a claim for equitable distribution for the court to equitably divide the marital property.

You may also want to include a motion for interim distribution so the vehicle can be distributed to you while the equitable distribution case is going on and until there is a final settlement or judgment.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Left husband and he's trying to take car

@Hmarie697 — Thu, 14 May 2026 22:21:33 +0000

I live in NC and recently left my husband because he went to dss with allocations stating I was doing drugs, He failed his test and the baby did after waiting 2 weeks to get the results. DSS placed the kids out of the home before even asking me for a drug screen. So I left him and told him I was done. The car is in his name because he would never put it in my name. Can he legally take it? He has a truck, but says he “gave” that car to his daughter, which doesn’t even have a license. please help

Renting house to wife so I can move out of state

@Anna_Ayscue — Tue, 05 May 2026 13:15:24 +0000

If any of the personal property contested and/or if you would like the house to be distributed to you and she does not agree, then you would need to file a claim for equitable distribution so the court can divide the marital property.

You may also be able to file a motion for interim distribution which could allow for the house to be distributed to you before equitable distribution is finalized.

Mediation is a strong option as well to be able to mediate the distribution of the personal property, house, accounts, vehicles, debt, etc.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Renting house to wife so I can move out of state

@thebestprice — Mon, 04 May 2026 23:12:12 +0000

I ended up letting her stay in the house for now without a separation agreement since she wouldn’t agree to the terms. All of my belongings are still at the house though, I just haven’t been sleeping there and haven’t visited for past 5 months. I’m now back in NC and need to stop by and get some things and while she has agreed to grant me access to the property at a specific time while she’s there, she’s trying to control what I can take including items that are clearly personal and solely owned by me such as important documents. Can she actually prevent that? And if so what are my options for terminating her ability to live there prior to divorce being finalized as now I do not trust her to properly care for my things or allow me reasonable access to them?

Can I e-file my answer to a Divirce Summon?

@Anna_Ayscue — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 17:07:06 +0000

All court filings must be dated and signed. Counterclaims must have your notarized signature.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Can I e-file my answer to a Divirce Summon?

@Puipui96 — Mon, 27 Apr 2026 12:07:00 +0000

Thank you very much, Anna. I saw online that counterclaims is signed and dated as follows

Respectfully submitted,

Signature :

Date:

Is that necessary ? Thanks

Can I e-file my answer to a Divirce Summon?

@Anna_Ayscue — Mon, 27 Apr 2026 10:28:51 +0000

If you were served with the civil summons and complaint by sheriff’s deputy, then you do not need to also sign and file an acceptance of service.

The service by sheriff’s deputy was proper service, so an acceptance of service would be duplicative and is unnecessary in that instance.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Can I e-file my answer to a Divirce Summon?

@Puipui96 — Thu, 23 Apr 2026 18:20:06 +0000

Anna, I read Rosen Law Step by Step Divorce Packet. In responding to Complaints, the last part is Acceptance of Servuce in the Sample Answer sheet. When served by a Sheriff, do I just omit this part ?Thanks.

Can I e-file my answer to a Divirce Summon?

@Puipui96 — Wed, 22 Apr 2026 18:44:23 +0000

Thank you so much, Anna

Can I e-file my answer to a Divirce Summon?

@Anna_Ayscue — Wed, 22 Apr 2026 17:53:35 +0000

If you e-file, you will be able to serve a copy of your answer directly to the opposing counsel.

If you file a hard copy, then you will need to mail a hard copy to the opposing counsel.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Can I e-file my answer to a Divirce Summon?

@Puipui96 — Fri, 17 Apr 2026 00:36:39 +0000

Thank you very much, Anna. Does the court forward a copy of my answers to the plaintiff’s attorney or is there a way for me to print out?

Can I e-file my answer to a Divirce Summon?

@Anna_Ayscue — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 21:46:20 +0000

If you are the Defendant in an absolute divorce action, there is nothing you need to sign. You were properly served by a sheriff’s deputy.

You have 30 days from the date you were served to file your answer. Or, if you file no answer, the judge will likely grant the absolute divorce on the date that the Plaintiff calendars it for hearing.

You can e-file here: eFile NC - Landing Page

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Can I e-file my answer to a Divirce Summon?

@Puipui96 — Wed, 15 Apr 2026 00:33:54 +0000

I received a Divorce Summon sent by a Sheriff on 4/6. Do I need to sign in front of a Notary Public? If there is no need for that, can I efile my answer? If so, where do I go to efile it?

Thank you.

Checking Divorce Options For My Mom

@Anna_Ayscue — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 17:59:09 +0000

Based on the information you provided, it sounds like a domestic violence protective order (DVPO) would be granted.

A DVPO is granted when there is:

(1) Attempted or intentional bodily injury,

(2) Fear of imminent serious bodily injury, or

(3) Fear of continued harassment that rises to such a level as to inflict substantial emotional distress.

Check out our article Domestic Violence and Staying Safe - The Details which goes in-depth about domestic violence and how the DVPO process works.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Responding to Divorce Filing

@Anna_Ayscue — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 13:56:46 +0000

Since equitable distribution and alimony have already been resolved in a separation agreement, and assuming you are not otherwise contesting the absolute divorce, then you can do one of two options:

(1) File an answer to the complaint which admits or denies each numbered paragraph; or

(2) Do nothing.

Most frequently, when an absolute divorce is not contested, the defendant does nothing. The 30-33 days to answer the complaint expires, the plaintiff sets the absolute divorce for a court date, and then judge will likely grant the divorce.

You may attend the court date, but you do not have to if you are not contesting the absolute divorce.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Checking Divorce Options For My Mom

@dg702 — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 21:51:22 +0000

I am writing on behalf of my mother, who is a 68-year-old disabled heart attack survivor currently residing in here in Durham. We are seeking legal representation and feedback regarding a 50B Protective Order and potential divorce/equitable distribution situation.

My mother has been married to her husband for 44 years and been together for a total of 48 years, and the situation has escalated to a point where we believe her safety and life are in immediate danger. We have documented evidence of a pattern of coercive control, including:

FIREARMS & INTIMIDATION: The defendant has immediate access to handguns. And we were told by my mom that he has discharged the firearm to intimidate her (a few years ago by shooting into the ground to scare her dog in the back yard which also scared the neighbor, and when asked about it he responds “he was only trying to scare the dog because he didm’t listen).
ACTIVE ISOLATION: As of yesterday, her husband physically taped over the home’s Ring cameras, and this is the second time he’s done it. He has also cut off her access to the internet and television, now telling her “don’t touch my tv”.
MEDICAL & FINANCIAL ABUSE: Despite my mother’s disability and heart condition, he has intentionally withheld funds for her life-sustaining medication and physical therapy. He got mad that she didn’t go when it was snowing outside back here in January He has also intentionally hidden her hospitalizations from our family to ensure she has no advocate, or won’t share information about what’s going on with her, and instead will just say “he got her, and is taking care of her”. Also she gets roughly $1600 a month in disability , and she buys groceries for the house with her money, and he will get mad and throw a fit because she buys groceries, and throws a fit when or if she attempted to try and cook. Then her money runs short every month and while get receives over $3K a month in social security, has a 401K and received a settlement. Its like he purposely starves her out of her money so he can dominate and control her, and manipulate her, to the point the few little bills she does try to pay, she can’t pay them because she doesn’t t have any money left, then things will get cut off like her phone unless she ask me for money, which she’s embarrassed to ask.
DOCUMENTED GASLIGHTING: We have over 20 audio recordings documenting his verbal abuse, threats of illegal eviction, and psychological manipulation (testing her about her medications and denying threats he made minutes prior). He also recently got in her face and called her a lazy b*tch , and fu*k me and my 28 year old daughter which is my mom’s granddaughter.
ALTERNATIVE HOUSING: The defendant owns a second home in Enfield, NC, which makes the request for “exclusive possession” of the Durham residence very practical for the court. He goes to the other house in Enfield NC which he was inherited, spent marital money on repairing, etc but she can’t even ask him a question about that home. The home in Durham is one they purchased together back in 1999 or 2000, which is now paid off, but he is determined and have repeatedly said he wouldn’t give her sh*t..

We plan to file for an Ex Parte 50B order at the Durham County Courthouse. We are seeking a lawyer who is experienced in cases involving elder abuse, coercive control, and financial misconduct, and who can represent her at the 10-day hearing. Given that the defendant has total control over the marital assets, we are also interested in pursuing an award for attorney’s fees because she literally has nothing but her disability. She had a car that ended up getting repossessed a few years back after he got mad at her for getting the car, and wouldn’t help her pay it when she got behind. He repeatedly gets mad if her family, including me come to visit for any extended period of time, which is clearly his way of keeping her isolated from her family and entire social circle.

I recently returned here to Durham to help care for her and him since they are getting older, and I had no idea all of this was going on until seeing it up close an personal. While I was there assisting her and being her caregiver, he told me I had until March 1st to get out of the house which I did without any arguments or resistance on my part. This last argument while she was losing her sister to a battle of cancer, and this is when he got in her face 2 days before her sister(my aunt) ultimately passed.

I know for fact and feel if she pursues this Protective order in which she needs, there is no telling what he will do at that point of being served because this will be the first time in his life that he has lost and had his obsessive controlling ways taken away. She has literally walked on eggshells for many many years we’ve learned. There are witnesses to this behavior including myself from growing up in the environment as a kid which ultimately made me leave home at an early age and not wanting to return. The same thing is with my daughter which is her grandmother.. This isn’t the second time he’s gotten in her face with threats, and intimidation tactics. She suffers from vertigo as well and its gotten worse here lately, and I personally feel her health issues are in direct alignment with him and this abusive behavior.. She called the police on him a few years ago due to an argument and him displaying threatening behavior, which the neighbor came over and he talked crazy to her.. I went online to try and see if I could find the incident report but was unable to.

Her fear and why she haven’t pursued this before is because she said she felt trapped. She felt like she had no where to go, and he repeatedly tells her “this is my house” despite the fact her name is on the deed as well, and she put the money down when they first got it, she was hit by a drunk driver back in 1997 which created this whole health issue dynamic, her back has been fused from top to bottom, and when she received her settlement around 1999 or so, she paid off his vehicles as well as hers, and paid to have and addition added on to the house..

There’s so much more that I could share, but I know I’ve shared enough here already. I’ve been doing much research on Idignities and Coercive Control, etc and would know if anyone could provide feedback on the strength of our evidence? She is currently at her sisters home temporarily until we figure things out.

Thank you for your time and assistance.

Responding to Divorce Filing

@sej — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 18:06:18 +0000

We’ve already been separated over a year and have signed our separation agreement for ED and support so I had ex file the divorce papers. I got them (certified mail from his attorney) and thought it would be obvious what to do but it’s not.

What’s the easiest way for me to get my divorce done? I believe I need to file a response? Or do I not do anything and it will be granted after the 30dys? I’m hoping to not have to go to the court to file anything, just want easiest way!

Question about Acceptance of Service form (2025)

@rhy — Mon, 06 Apr 2026 18:18:39 +0000

Thank you so much! Appreciate it!

Question about Acceptance of Service form (2025)

@Anna_Ayscue — Mon, 06 Apr 2026 17:08:57 +0000

To ensure proper service on a defendant, you either need to serve the defendant by sheriff’s deputy or certified mail OR the defendant can sign an acceptance of service.

If the defendant chooses to sign an acceptance of service, they do not have to be served by sheriff’s deputy or certified mail. An acceptance of service is in lieu of service by a deputy or by certified mail.

You do not need to be present when the defendant signs the acceptance of service. However, their signature must be notarized.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Question about Acceptance of Service form (2025)

@rhy — Mon, 06 Apr 2026 16:10:16 +0000

Hello!

I have a question with regard to the Absolute Divorce eGuide and File. The forms themselves are straightforward. My (ex) spouse and I have waiting the 366 days and we already have a separation agreement set in place but the part I was unsure about was with regard to serving the papers.

The guide made it sound like as opposed to serving via Sheriff or Certified mail, I can have my spouse sign the Acceptance of Service but when I look into it, that seems to be just a way to expedite the 30 days of waiting rather than an alternative to serving. My understanding is that legally, I cannot hand over the divorce papers myself.

So my question is, am I required to serve the papers by Sheriff/Certified AND if my spouse is willing, have them also sign the Acceptance of Service when served to speed things along or is it one or the other? And Do I need to be present when they sign the AoS?

Thank you!

The wording is below.

Acceptance of Service: This option will only work if your spouse will agree to accept the court papers and sign in front of a notary an “Acceptance of Service,” found here:

https://www.nccourts.gov/assets/documents/local-rules-forms/Acceptance%20of%

Make 2 copies of the original signed “Acceptance of Service.”

Go to the Clerk of Court’s office and give the original and copies of the signed and notarized

“Acceptance of Service” to the Clerk of Court to file. The Clerk will file it and return your copies to you.

Spouse said I could have everything on recorded call

@eliroi77 — Thu, 02 Apr 2026 20:01:17 +0000

That sounds like an heavy situation to carry. It’s completely understandable that you’re in survival mode right now, trying to protect your daughter and your future while the ground is shifting under your feet.

Bought house as “Joint Owners with Right of Survivorship”, do we need to sell before divorce?

@Anna_Ayscue — Tue, 30 Dec 2025 13:43:34 +0000

Yes, you can get divorced even if the house has not sold yet as long as equitable distribution, (including the terms and provisions regarding the sale of the house, distribution of retirement accounts, bank accounts, and other assets, etc.), are finalized in a separation agreement or court order.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Bought house as “Joint Owners with Right of Survivorship”, do we need to sell before divorce?

@amicable — Mon, 29 Dec 2025 22:21:06 +0000

My spouse and I have been separated for just over 1 year, we listed our house (house is in NC, both of us are local but no longer living in the house) to sell in July but unfortunately it hasn’t sold yet. When we initially bought the house, we were not married and bought it as Joint Owners with Right of Survivorship. Before we got married, I contacted the closing attorney and asked if our marriage impacted anything related to the deed/ownership of the house but never heard back and we just got married without getting an answer to that question. We have a notarized separation agreement that spells out how the proceeds from the house are to be divided when it does sell. Can we get divorced without selling the house?

Tax claiming

@Anna_Ayscue — Fri, 12 Dec 2025 20:23:28 +0000

There is generally a paragraph in the standard provisions of separation agreements which states that the parties shall promptly execute all documents necessary to effectuate any terms of the separation agreement.

This is the paragraph that you would fall back on in order to get the other parent to sign tax forms consenting to you claiming your child as a dependent on your income tax returns.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Prenup vs. Separation Agreement Requirements

@Anna_Ayscue — Fri, 12 Dec 2025 20:20:04 +0000

A separation agreement must have a full disclosure of all financial assets and debts, and it must be signed and notarized by both spouses.

Our Sample Separation Agreement (NC) is a great template to start with, but you do not have to word it exactly the same. Sometimes you must be careful about simplifying language so that the intent and obligations/requirements of both parties are clear.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Disability, divorce, a house and an ex who's moving away.

@Anna_Ayscue — Fri, 12 Dec 2025 20:14:54 +0000

No, if the house is deeded in both of your names, you both must enter into any purchase agreement with a buyer.

The house can be sold as part of the divorce settlement, or one of you can keep it and buy out the other.

Once you have separated (one of you will have to move out), you are eligible to file a claim for equitable distribution, which asks the court to divide the marital property. An equal division of the marital property is presumed to be equitable.

For more information on how equitable distribution works, check out our article Property Division: What You Need to Know.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Divorce final and seeking alimony after the divorce

@Anna_Ayscue — Fri, 12 Dec 2025 16:13:38 +0000

The absolute divorce can be filed at any time after one year of separation and after all other requirements for absolute divorce are met.

As long as the claim for alimony is made prior to the divorce being granted, then the alimony claim is preserved for further hearing. This is the same for the claim of equitable distribution (property).

I am unable to determine your likelihood of success without a consultation and full review of the court documents.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Divorce final and seeking alimony after the divorce

@Miller316 — Thu, 11 Dec 2025 14:57:53 +0000

Thank you for your response. I’m trying to understand because they reopened the case. I have the motion to revive and motion for temporary support hearing next month. Do you think I have a chance? I lacked legal counsel during that time and didn’t understand my rights at all. I didn’t purposely abandoned my rights. The judge did reserve the right for here pss and alimony. However I didn’t file before the divorce decree, I just recently filed motion to revive pss and alimony along affidavit of good faith with a list of reasons why couldn’t file and evidence to back up those reasons. I thought I had up to three years to file after the divorce under rule 60b medical illness

Anaphylaxis

Panic attacks

Mental health crisis

Deaths in the family

Lack of transportation

No attorney

Financial hardship

Extreme stress

Spouses property

@Anna_Ayscue — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 15:24:46 +0000

It is best not to get rid of your wife’s belongings until after equitable distribution is fully resolved.

You may need to hire a private investigator to locate her in order to serve her with a court complaint for divorce and equitable distribution.

If you have done your due diligence and exhausted all reasonable efforts to locate her address and you’ve been unsuccessful, you are able to serve her by publication which is a legal ad in the newspaper.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Therapy Records

@Anna_Ayscue — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 15:22:24 +0000

A therapist can be subpoenaed to testify at trial but the therapist cannot testify about what the patient said. The therapist can only testify about diagnoses, goals of therapy or what the therapist and patient are working on, any concerns the therapist has, and appointment history.

Generally therapists’ notes are minimal and vague and provide no helpful information to a litigant.

If your ex-husband subpoenas the therapist’s notes, the therapist can file an objection and motion to quash the subpoena.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Divorce final and seeking alimony after the divorce

@Anna_Ayscue — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 13:47:46 +0000

The claim for alimony must be filed prior to the entry of the absolute divorce judgment in order for the preserve the right to pursue alimony.

If your claim for alimony was filed prior to the divorce judgment being entered, then you can calendar your claim for trial, issue subpoenas, serve discovery, etc. as you have a valid claim.

You cannot get alimony if the claim for alimony is filed after the divorce judgment is entered.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Tax claiming

@sej — Mon, 08 Dec 2025 18:26:34 +0000

If a separationt agreement says the non-custodial party can claim a child for taxes when legal, but does not have written that the custodial parent has to sign a document for it, would the custodial parent have to sign the tax/legal form to let the other claim?

(I understand the custodial parent is the one that legally can claim if there’s nothing saying they agree to the other parent doing it, but asking if this can be upheld in an agreement worded like this, not stating that they need to do anything further to let the other claim them).

Prenup vs. Separation Agreement Requirements

@thebestprice — Thu, 04 Dec 2025 23:39:06 +0000

I know that in order for a prenup to be upheld it “requires” certain elements to be valid such as itemization of each person’s assets, time for review by counsel and not too close to wedding date, not signed under duress, notarization, etc.

Is the same true of a Separation agreement? Do they also have specific requirements like list of current assets or other items above or is it just more of a general contract between 2 people of how assets will be distributed and any payments from one party to another will be structured?

And does it have to model the sample agreement you provide or can the language be simplified as long as all the same points are covered?

Disability, divorce, a house and an ex who's moving away.

@glasszooey — Wed, 03 Dec 2025 15:04:07 +0000

My wife is verbally abusive - tonight, for instance, she berated me for having chronic kidney disease and being on disability due to that and having complications from Addison’s and Type 1 Diabetes. It’s ironic since she was fine when I was able to pay for everything but now that I can’t, she’s acting too tortured to clean her cat’s litter box. Divorce is imminent, but she seems to be set on trying to force me out of the house so that it can be sold because she fancies herself a princess that should get what she wants even though I have a fatal disease and she wants to move out of state to take a job. The house is in both our names. Can she legally just sell the place out from under me?

Spouses property

@kim_lambert — Sun, 30 Nov 2025 05:06:01 +0000

I have separated for over a year and I have asking my spouse to come get their belongings out of the house we live in and she refuses stating she has nowhere to store it or a way to come get it. I have been telling her to come get it for at least 6 months at this point. Am I able to get rid of it? Also she refuses to give me an address to send divorce papers too so how can I go about getting those served

Therapy Records

@Tamanna_Rahman — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 20:59:38 +0000

How can I protect my 15-year-old therapy records from my ex-husband, who also has 50% custody of my son? He has used my son’s therapy note to make a case against my other child, who also has the same father. Now my ex-husband is trying to say that he should have full custody of my son, because my daughter doesn’t want to go to his house, and raises safety concerns. My other child will be completing her treatment soon, and I am afraid she is not going to have enough time to mend her relationship with her brother.

My son has mentioned many times that he doesn’t want his therapy notes to be used for court. He has also mentioned that he has difficulty expressing his true feelings because his records can be used in court. I am afraid my son is not going to be honest with the therapist if he comes to find out his information was taken to court by his father.

Divorce final and seeking alimony after the divorce

@Miller316 — Wed, 26 Nov 2025 02:17:02 +0000

My question is when the judge reserves in the divorce decree the right to alimony and post separation support what do you ask for on the relief request? I understand you can’t ask for post separation after the divorce. I asked for retroactive post separation support, emergency temporary support and permanent alimony. I’m unsure if I used the correct terminology being that I am self-represented. My divorce was in August of 2022. I reopened the case of October 2025. My ex-spouse abandoned the marriage plus some other things. I am unable to work I have no income for the entire year of 2025 due to medical illnesses I ended up on public assistance and trying to obtain help from my ex-spouse. Please advise, thank you.

Termination of alimony and cohabitation

@Anna_Ayscue — Tue, 25 Nov 2025 21:45:11 +0000

Alimony in a separation agreement is non-modifiable unless both parties to the separation agreement agree to modify it. This is rarely the case.

If you were to agree to modify alimony in a separation agreement, then it would be renegotiated based on current incomes and financial situations. There is no formula used in NC or recognized by the NC statutes or NC case law.

Instead, alimony is based on 16 Factors, assuming one spouse is the supporting spouse and the other spouse is the dependent spouse.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Termination of alimony and cohabitation

@ChiknNutz — Tue, 25 Nov 2025 13:39:07 +0000

Ok, thank you for the reply.

In lieu of discontinuing alimony but considering an amended alimony amount, how might I go about altering that? I have read there are no specific formulas used in NC, but I’ve seen on your website there are many that are used for comparison purposes. Which, if any of those, are typically used in NC? If I were to suggest an amendment to the amount of alimony, what is the typical process in this case where it is not a court-ordered amount? For the purpose of confirming income, is there any requirement for the ex to supply that data or is it on my to obtain it somehow?

Renting house to wife so I can move out of state

@Anna_Ayscue — Tue, 11 Nov 2025 18:04:40 +0000

(1) You would not jeopardize your ownership of the house, and its exclusion from equitable distribution per your prenup agreement, by allowing her to remain living there pending a final settlement. It wouldn’t make sense for you to rent the house to a dependent spouse when that was the marital residence. It sounds like you owe her alimony, not the other way around with her paying you to live in the marital residence. Additionally, it’s unlikely she would agree to a rental contract, nor is she required to consider a rental contract with you.

Instead, you can continue to allow her to live there until final settlement of ED. Your postseparation support to her would be your payment towards the mortgage, utilities, etc. instead of paying her monthly postseparation support. Depending on exact figures, you may still owe her postseparation support beyond what is being paid towards the mortgage, etc.

(2) As long as there are no contract defenses to the entry of the prenup and it is a valid contract, the prenup could not be set aside.

(3) You will need a separation agreement. See the answer in #1 above as to why you would not need, and be unable to attain, a rental agreement.

(4) If you cannot reach an agreement on your own, you will have to file a lawsuit against her for equitable distribution, as long as you are already separated.

(5) North Carolina will continue to have jurisdiction over your equitable distribution claim.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Renting house to wife so I can move out of state

@thebestprice — Tue, 11 Nov 2025 02:51:18 +0000

I currently fully own our home. I purchased it before we got married, mortgage and deed are solely in my name and only I have paid the mortgage, property taxes etc through my own account, not a joint account. We also have a prenup that says all assets owned before the marriage remain each person’s own assets and are not eligible for ED.

That said I make about 10X what my wife makes. She only works part time and the joint account that her check goes into only pays for some of the utilities and our food/groceries. I contribute the same amount to that account as her salary.

Since she can’t afford to move out, she won’t do so willingly. And even if she did she’d need financial support from me to make it feasible which I don’t want to do. So I’m willing to move out and lease her the house during the separation for an amount way below market value but something she can afford. This works better as I want to try living in a different state anyways but don’t want to sell the house at this time or rent it to a stranger or leave it vacant. Otherwise I’d have to pay the house mortgage, my new lease and likely a portion of hers.

So questions are:

Do I jeopardize my sole ownership of the house in any way if I offer to let her rent it?
Is there any way a judge could override the prenup because I make so much more money than her even though this was always the case and all the other factors above that make clear house is solely mine re: buying before marriage, only one on deed and mortgage and only one who has paid the mortgage? Note we do not have any kids so that’s not an issue.
I assume I need both a separation agreement and a separate lease agreement?
What are my options if she won’t agree to any of this and also refuses to leave?
Anything else I need to be aware of consider before moving out of state?

Termination of alimony and cohabitation

@Anna_Ayscue — Tue, 04 Nov 2025 13:12:52 +0000

Cohabitation for purposes of alimony termination is when two people are in a romantic relationship and they hold themselves out to the public like a married couple.

This means they are doing things that you would expect a married couple to do, for example, they are spending the night together (does not have to be every night), they are sharing household responsibilities (like grocery shopping together, buy a car together, etc.), they are sharing in the payment of expenses, etc. You do not have to prove all of these - there are just some of the many examples that there could be.

You are right that evidence of cohabitation is not clear cut and it varies from case to case.

The very best way to obtain the evidence of cohabitation in order to defend against a breach of contract lawsuit if alimony payments are terminated, is by a private investigator.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Termination of alimony and cohabitation

@ChiknNutz — Thu, 30 Oct 2025 20:11:42 +0000

Hello! I have been divorced for over 3 years now. We have a separation agreement that was not incorporated into the divorce, so is a contract between us. The cohabitation stipulation clause is in the SA (the wording is as per the template you have on your website here). My ex has an ongoing romantic relationship but the evidence of cohabitation is not clear, nor will the ex be forthcoming to the fact. They both maintain separate residences, but according to my adult children, the ex stays at the partner’s residence 4-5 days per week. I do not know how long this has been going on for sure but the relationship has been in place for about a year maybe more. I have read about the definition of cohabitation and understand it is not always clear cut. I do feel that the ex is cohabiting but evidence is lacking and so far challenging to obtain. Yes, I realize that hiring a PI is one of the most obvious forms of obtaining evidence, but this is a costly endeavor. Social media evidence is not readily available. What should be my next steps for obtaining sufficient evidence that cohabitation exists?

Deed question

@Anna_Ayscue — Tue, 28 Oct 2025 17:24:47 +0000

Assuming the separation agreement reads as you have written it, that the deed must be recorded prior to the absolute divorce being entered, then yes, it could be signed and recorded on the day of the absolute divorce court date.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Deed question

@harris785 — Mon, 27 Oct 2025 13:26:44 +0000

If a deed has to be transfered before divorce can be finalized per separation agreement, can it be done the day of the hearing? It’s suppose to be changed to husband and wife as joint tenants for survirorship. Last hearing got continued due to it not being done yet, it says in separtation agreement that husband is to get it changed and I have yet to hear anything and I am pro se, and I have contacted his attorney asking for a status update and he’s not responded.

Continuance Court Order

@Anna_Ayscue — Tue, 21 Oct 2025 12:44:23 +0000

Yes, it is fine to email your ex’s attorney asking about an update.

If the court order is a continuance order (Order to Continue), then you do not also need a notice of hearing. This is because the court order is what is setting the court date, not the notice of hearing. You will need a certificate of service showing you properly served the continuance order to the opposing party/counsel.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

CS changes from a separation agreement

@Anna_Ayscue — Tue, 21 Oct 2025 12:39:20 +0000

Child support in a separation agreement is still modifiable. Even with a fully signed and notarized separation agreement, one parent could still file a child support lawsuit against the other parent, or seek child support from their county’s Child Support Enforcement agency.

When one child ages out, child support is recalculated using the worksheet that matches the custody schedule and is based on the parents’ current incomes, not the incomes that were originally used to calculate child support.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

Continuance Court Order

@harris785 — Mon, 20 Oct 2025 19:06:22 +0000

Once more question, sorry–but do I need to send a notice of hearing to the opposing counsel as well or just a copy of the court order and certificate of service being its a continued case?

Continuance Court Order

@harris785 — Mon, 20 Oct 2025 12:16:02 +0000

Thank you! Is it appropriate to email my ex’s attorney asking for a update of things that need to be done before next hearing date, if I am able to find the attorney’s email address?

CS changes from a separation agreement

@sej — Thu, 16 Oct 2025 18:10:21 +0000

My separation agreement has child support decreasing when my oldest phases out in a year. Right now, the agreement has him paying the NC calculated, but with one less child then, he’s agreed to less than what it should be for the number of children (if income and everything were to remain the same). I was told child support, like custody, is always modifiable even if the agreement doesn’t state this. Is it true I can file through the child support agency at any time if I think it should be higher? Or would it require us both to agree to modify the agreement? Or can we put it in the agreement somehow? We’ve not signed the agreement yet.